Reality Muffins

I wrote this a few years ago, so a lot of the shows are dated and shows just how old i am. [if you don't know what shows i'm talking about, replace them with "The Jersey Shore" or whatever else they show on television now] or some other shit like that] but what i have to say still rings true and it's still just as disgusting, if not worse, today. if you are a fan of any of these shows for any other reason than you find them amusing little train-wrecks than please, for the love of GOD! get off your fat-arse, close your laptop, and read a damn book. preferably one that wasn't written in the last 15 years or wasn't written by Stephenie Meyer.


Reality TV; real life people in real life situations; raw and uncut. Stations such as MTV and VH1 bring us the wonderful shows that display to us what life really is. Or do they? "Reality TV", such as "The Real World" or "America's Next Top Model" may take real people, and show real situations, but is it a true American reality? The images shown in these shows are isolated and seem to be extreme examples of life, but never the less, it is what is shown to American youth, and possibly more importantly, the rest of the world. Browsing the channels anywhere between noon and midnight, one can find an endless stream of reality TV shows, mostly located on MTV's various branch channels. There is such a grand scope of shows that it would be almost impossible to choose just one to focus on, but all these shows share a handful of similarities and can be broken up into three basic types.

The first, and most common, is what will from here on be referred to as "forced living" reality shows. In these series, groups of people are brought together to live as house-mates for a certain amount of time. Most famous of this type would be "The Real World". This show takes a selection of people, usually ranging from eighteen to mid twenties, from various walks of life, and plants them into a house or apartment together. Throughout the seasons running time they will be given group jobs or challenges. Aside from that, they are constantly watched by an ever-present camera crew, underlining the Orwellian world of Big Brother. Such extreme conditions would be enough to produce enough drama that would rival a pack of middle school girls on steroids, but of course, it wouldn't be "real" enough that way. So, to make things more interesting, the cast is chosen based on what I can only assume to be an anti-compatibility test. They always seem to have the naive Christian, who grew up in some rural area, and is just now coming to the big city. This person, usually female, is almost always forced into a room with the staunch atheist, usually of some minority group such as African American or Latino. There's always a partier, if not more than one, who always seems to be getting drunk, and let's not forget the token homosexual/bisexual whom always appear to be in conflict with the sheltered Christian. At the very least, two members of the show will have some sort of irreconcilable difference, and one may possibly need to leave. So, we have here the makings of what could possibly be reality, don't we? A diverse group of people from various religions, nationalities, and sexual orientations, all trying to live together. Sounds like a college dorm to me. And yet I have never experienced such levels of drama as exhibited on these shows. Somehow, they always manage to create some life shattering obstacles with one another that almost always end in physical fights. And of course, the ever popular "hook-ups" between cast members. We laugh, we cry, we feel anger; this MUST be reality! Not. Perhaps I live in a bubble, but this is nowhere near what I have experienced in my life, and it certainly isn't what I want the rest of the world so see me as. So perhaps we can find reality in another kind of show.

Second, would be what I like to call "game show" reality shows. Such shows include "Flavor of Love", "A Shot of Love", and "Survivor". These shows share some similarities with the forced living shows, as they all involve people who would otherwise not be caught dead living with each other, residing in the same domicile. However, these people are here because they are competing for something. This something is almost always money, but can also, as seen in "Flavor of Love" and "Tela Tequila" be about finding that one special person that you want to spend the rest of your life with. Touching, isn't it? However, these shows involve vying for the "love" of a celebrity who I couldn't imagine anyone loving for their personalities. "Flavor of Love" was a show about women fighting for the affections of rap star, Flavor Flav. women compete for alone time with the rap star [whom I myself had never heard of before the show aired, again, I might live in a bubble], trying to convince him that they will truly love him for who he is. [Also, they usually try to convince him that they will be the most "pleasing" sexual partner which I'm convinced is all the man is concerned about in the first place.] However, not all of these shows are about convincing someone that you love them and will please them. Others, such as the "Survivor" series, are purely about winning disgusting amounts of money. And that's what America is about, isn't it? Love, money and sex? Or maybe just money and sex. Hmm, this still doesn't sound much like reality to me. Lets move on the the third type, maybe that will bring us the meaning of life?

The third type is what I call "teen reality" shows. This final type includes shows like "The Hills" and "Lagoona Beach" and "My Super Sweet Sixteen". Now, certainly, these must be the shinning beacon of reality. What could possibly be more real then teens living their lives, going to high school, breaking up, and finally, going to the prom with that special someone. I myself haven't watched too many episodes of these shows, as the first time I saw an add for "Lagoona Beach" I thought it was a joke, but no, I was wrong. "Lagoona Beach" aired and I was astounded to discover that it was a reality TV show. How could this be?! I asked myself. It follows the lives of teenagers in a coastal area, as they go through their school year and summer. They all appear to be between the ages of fifteen and nineteen, and all appear to be upper-middle class to lower-upper class. They all have perfect tans, and most of them receive brand new cars from daddy when they turn sixteen, or possibly before. There are break-ups, hook-ups, break-downs and what I can only describe as a parents' worst phone-bill nightmare, as these teens are ALWAYS on a cell phone, or land line talking to so-and-so about what such-and-such did with what's-there-name. I for one, thought that kind of petty back-biting ended when I left eighth grade, and I'd really love to know where all these new cars are coming from. Where's mine? But then, of course, there is nothing to compare with the insanity of "My Super Sweet Sixteen". In this, you will find the most atrocious display of nearly all of the deadly sins. Young girls will demand all of the finest things for what they want to be known as the greatest party EVER! In watching this show, I half expect to see one of the girls, in the midst of a fit, start twitching violently and begin foaming at the mouth from all the fanatic obsessions. They will stop at nothing to get the most expensive dresses [greed/envy], insisting that they "are worth every penny" [pride], and then go into horrible screaming fits if they are not given what they ask for, or if someone defies their all holy guest list. [rage] Frankly, it's like watching a toddler in the check-out line, screaming for candy. The only difference is that toddlers don't wear tube tops and mini-skirts. [at least, I hope they don't!] The worst part is when the parents simply roll over and give their daughters whatever it is that they want. Here, we must have found reality here! Girls getting whatever they want! Upper-middle class, teen drama! This, THIS must be America! No? well, what could this possibly be doing to the American image abroad?

On a two week missions trip to Uruguay, I discovered what exactly American media had done to itself in the eyes of the youth of another country. Upon arrival in Pysandu, Uruguay, we were immediately spotted as outsiders. What was most apparent was the way the us girls in the group were looked at. All of us felt unsafe without a male to stand with us, as we could tell that these other men saw as for something none of us were: reality TV girls. Things only progressed in this manner as we met up with the youth group we were to be staying with for the next two weeks. Almost immediately they began asking us where we were from, and seemed confused and dissappointed to learn that we were not from LA, or New York City. To them, these were the only two places that Americans come from. That, however, was easy enough to get over. What was more difficult, was explaining that, no, we didn't all have brand new sports cars, given to us by our parents when we were of age; and no, we didn't all go out partying on the weekends; and again, no, we didn't all shop at American Eagle, Gap, Aeropastal, or Holister. Fortunately though, these teens were much more down to earth and were able to understand fairly quickly that we weren't reality TV kids. Unfortunately, the rest of the city was not so down to earth. The most distressing day, was when we decided to walk to the mall. Along the way, all of the females in our group, immediately recognized as Americans, were heckled at, called at, whistled and clicked at. It was one of the most degrading walks of my life, and there I was, hardly showing any skin at all. In an attempt to understand why we were being treated in such a way that I hadn't even been treated like back in the states, I asked one of my male companions that I had met there. He explained to me that, because the only real exposure most South Americans have to the people in the States is through television, most of the men assume that that's what women want, and it is what is acceptable. I can remember feeling ill when he told me this. Was this truly the image that American media has given to the world? That its women and girls wish to be heckled at as they walk to the store, that they are all so easy that they'll hook up with anyone willing to give them attention. Surly, this cannot be reality.

Entertaining as they may be, reality TV shows are a failure when it comes to showing what reality truly is. They perpetuate the notion that Americans are only interested in material gain, and quick and easy pleasure. These shows tell the rest of the world that it's women are easy, and it's men are power hungry sex machines. It's detrimental abroad, as I am now thoroughly embarrassed to admit to being American in another country. However, it is also dangerous at home as well. It gives a kind of excuse for American youth to continue living as social degenerates. And if I do indeed live in a bubble, then I should wish to continue living in my bubble, there is far less screaming there.

>Mar