Ninety Nine Percent Muffins

Sup bitches, now onto economics and politics.
Why?  You ask.  Because surely I would not stoop into that cesspool of biased propaganda based filth that is the political system.  Well, the answer is that I just got this sweet pair of waders off amazon and I want to see if they're radioactive-ebola proof; and the only place to find mental radioactive-ebola is politics, specifically, American politics, just to clarify which serotype of ebola we're working with here.

I noticed this post was lacking in pictures, so, here's
a picture of a duck.

So, first off, I'm not going to identify myself with any party.  Why?  Because they're tossers- All of them.  Drawing lines between groups is a.) one of the best historical ways to incite genocide (don't believe me, look up Rwanda, and read about how fucked up that shit was) and b.) it's the best way to STAY ELECTED or to GET ELECTED.  Because, lets face it, having to vote on people based off of what they think and say and having to have intelligent discussion of ideas and actual debates of topics that don't fit into the five minutes between commercials is just not something that politicians want to do, and it's not something the average American citizen is mentally equipped to do.  Also, a lot of politicians would get thrown out on their asses real quick if they actually had to explain the reasoning behind their 'stances' (not all mind you, Ron Paul in particular has proven himself adept at explaining WHY he thinks the way he does, but many others would end up looking pants-on-head-retarded for even trying, also, I'm not a libertarian, just fyi).  And more to the point with parties, it's easy to stay elected when all you have to do is convince people that you're not affiliated with Party "X" when they want to ruin everything and that even if you're a complete incompetent idiot you're better than allowing them to get power.  Same goes for getting elected, you don't need to argue views and points, you argue that the person from party "Y" has fucked up enough that they shouldn't be allowed to stay; and that doesn't mean that you have any solutions to the problems, or that you'll fuck up less, just that you're not with party "Y".  Basically, it comes down to the same mindset of Eagles or Cowboys?  And yes, that IS what's running our country, political sports teams with as much talent as your below-average soviet era Russian made toaster.

ANNNNNNNND
a picture of a squirrel
thinkin you're dumb
and that you have a terrible resume
and will be fired from 5 different Arbys.

So, we draw lines, so that we can point to the other side and say "AH-HA!!", or "FUCK YOU!!" or "NOT OUR FAULT!!" or "THAT REF IS A BLIND CUNT!!!".  And you know what that does?  Incites the blame game (fyi, it's always the ref's fault, except in rugby).  It makes it so that more emphasis is focused on who's to blame for a problem than on fixing the problem.  Dependency on foreign oil?  Blamed on Bush, but before then blamed on Clinton, and before him blamed on the other Bush, and so on and so forth back to the bitch-flipping SEVENTIES.  And you know what?  All of the presidents who addressed this problem did more to point out that they didn't start the problem than they did to fix it.  The main thing they all did was set deadlines for future presidents to fail to meet while blaming the policies of their fore-runner of the other party.  That's not to say no progress has been made, but that for all the effort of blaming parties and people for oil dependecy and prices, very little has been done to fix the problem.

And, what's that?  You want to know WHY???

This chipmunk hates you
it's pretending to eat your pancreas.
So that you'll have diabetes
And begin to turn into Wilfred Brimley
Then Sir. Brimley will come for you
And behead you, and yell:
"THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!"

Because doing something about a big problem other than blaming someone else requires drastic action, action that will, in all likelihood, take your chances of, you guessed it, RE-ELECTION, and shoot them down the shitter like all the tequila and glitter Ke$ha's been vomiting up over the years.  Now, I'm not saying I agree with what current Mr. President has done, but I give him props for doing something about healthcare.  I'm not saying it was the best thing, but, point being, he did something, even if it did take his re-election odds out back and throw them under a bus that looks conspicuously like the constitution.

AND THAT BRINGS ME TO MY NEXT POINT!

Exploiting the American people.  Now, I referenced a constitution wrapped bus, and exploiting the American people, so, I can only be referring to one of two people and no, it's not Ke$ha, but between her and Sarah Palin, who I am referencing, I'd wager that Ke$ha's the more intelligent.  So, here's my problem with the whole bus that looks like the constitution thing: Palin used it to tour the country, to gain supporters, and to gain funds.  Funds for what you ask?  Well, while she always claimed she was undecided to run for Presidency, that was what the funds were heavily implied to be for, that with enough funding she'd run.  Well.......

This chinchilla wishes it was a pokemon
so it could get into animal fighting
and be a pro.
currently, it has a deskjob in chicago.
it's very very sad.

She never had any intention of running for the Presidency, she'd told her family that months before, and he daughter had told the press as much, also, months before she announced officially that she wouldn't be running.  So, why try to keep gaining funds for a presidential campaign that would never happen?  Because there is abso-fucking-lutely no oversight on how she spends campaign contributions.  Something Stephen Colbert has pointed out with his Super-Pac.  But, let me reiterate, Palin took funds from supporters under the guise of maybe running for Presidency, if support and funding where both there, AFTER having her daughter announce on the news that she told her family months before that she would NOT BE RUNNING.  Granted, it's not unheard of for women to change their minds, but still, the fact that she'd already been sued in the past for embezzlement should have tipped some people off.  Now, this isn't to say that I'm anti-republican, but that Sarah Palin specifically is an idiot, a fraud, and representative of who we're electing for office anywhere.

This is what Cher used to look like
before....
before....
it happened.

Now that I've tackled the elected officials, lets go on to their constituents.  Lets start off with this "99%" that I keep hearing about.  And, more importantly, lets look at WHY they're the 99%.  First off, while they're angry they're not the top earners in America, they're also angry at "corporate greed".  Which is what's making the CEO's of companies rich while the ratio of their earnings to their employee's earnings keeps going in their favor.  Now, I can see why people don't like this.  But, can you honestly say they don't deserve it?  I mean, do you see any of the angry people starting their own highly successful companies to make that kind of money? No.  And if you want to fix that problem, I hate to tell you, but the government isn't the place to try to fix it.  Government cannot fix greed.  It's a human problem.  What government can do is tax, and the power to tax is the power to destroy.  But, you know what'll happen if the government keeps taxing top executives?  They'll keep paying themselves more money.  Simple as that.  And if government does anything too drastic, guess what?  They'll go overseas and scream "FUCK YOU" from across the pacific.  Also, lemme point out that 99% of the 99% would do the same damn thing in their shoes.  And if you want to complain about stagnant middle class wages and lower end wages, well, ask this question: why should they be paid more for a job they're already doing for less?  This is simple business.  If you want more money for a job someone else will do for less, then guess what, the other person will be doing the job, assuming they have at least comparable competency.  The problem here lies in supply and demand.  There is a huge supply of labor, and a low demand, meaning that companies will continually hire the lowest bidder to do any job, meaning that you, the 99%, are the reason they're not paying you more-- it's because you're willing to work.  Now, we came up with a 'solution' to this problem decades ago, they were unions.  But, unions have their own sets of pro's and con's that I don't feel like getting into.  But fact of the matter is that CEO's are in very low supply, and companies place a very high demand on the best they can get, so they get pain an ass-load of money.  THIS IS BASIC BUSINESS.  And government can't fix it, so stop yelling at the government to tax them more and let them keep their earnings, they didn't get there by being incompetent.  And if they're taxed less, maybe, and by maybe I mean this is a mathematical certainty, they'll be able to be paid less to live the same lifestyle, meaning more money goes into the company, and into the products and employees of that company.  Also, if you really want  to complain about a CEO and tell a company ANYTING: stop buying their product.  Until you do that, they don't give half a flying fuck about what you think.  And using reason, logic and a sense of 'fairness' to do so won't work; claiming the company supports satanism might though.

Ok, I started writing this a while ago, and I forgot where I was, and I don't feel like going back and reading my shit to see where I was going, so, that's all you get.

Fuck-off Llama says:
"Fuck Off-
Bitch"