Vaccinated Muffins: The Consequences of Listening to Idiots

Ok, first off, let me tell you what the consequences of listening to Playboy models for your health advise is:
Dead Babies and Children.

I'm not saying she's not hot, just that if you want
an intelligent discussion you're better off talking
to her boobs than to her face.

You can read from the link who Jenny McCarthy is, and you can probably use your sense of logic and reason to figure out why you shouldn't take her advise on healthcare or child-rearing.  But, that's the boring part, and the unfortunate part, because people listened to her, and believed that getting their kids vaccinated would, rather than protect them from potentially deadly, debilitating, and even disfiguring diseases that the vaccine would give them autism... somehow.... kinda like how Canada thought Battlefield Earth was a good idea....

Now, the SCIENCE part.

Lets go over some possible mechanisms by which vaccines could be linked to autism, or, anything brain related....

Well, lets start with autism, and what causes it, and how any of that can be affected by a vaccine.
Autism has been shown to have a strong (90%ish) genetic link.  So, as far as vaccines can affect that, we can say that the presence or absence of a vaccine does less than fucking nothing.  Now, rather than take my word, or even the great Wiki's word on this, let me use some logic on your skeptical ass.  Genetics are set by the parents and once conceived, there's little to be done to change them (although siRNA treatments of some diseases are working on that, but that's a COMPLETELY different topic).  Now, could a vaccine somehow alter these genetic abnormalities, SPECIFICALLY, chromosomal duplication, deletions, and inversions?  Well, you could make a semi-reasonable argument that the squalene ajuvant in some vaccines could, in theory, cross the blood brain barrier and somehow alter gene expression in the nuclei of developing neurons and somehow cause either chromosomal, gene expression or developmental abnormalities.  BUT, there's a problem with that theory.  The vaccines are, usually, given IM (intra-muscular), meaning that except for what's picked up by antigen presenting cells and carried to lymphnodes, everything injected should stay localized and be removed via the lymphatic system and renal secretion.  What that means in non science talk, is that it goes nowhere near the brain.  AND, even if it did, the crossing of anything over the blood brain barrier is highly regulated.  Now, even if for example, squalene, a non-polar molecule, did somehow skip across the blood-brain barrier, the quantity delivered in a vaccine would itself be too minute to take any effect, unless, of course, you're one of those people who believes in homeopathic remedies working by some mechanism other than placebo effect, and in which case you'll think that somehow because there was less of it it was more effective.  But my logic using audience will no doubt call "BULLSHIT" on that and recommend your brain be relocated to an individual who will use it properly, treat it with respect, and maybe not try to drown it in stupid juice.  Also, back to squalene, even if it did arrive in the brain, it would only available in a low concentration, which would likely not allow it effectively alter gene expression in more than a handful of neurons.  And that's all vaccines could maybe do as far as genetics and causing autism go.  Not to mention that your body is likely making its own squalene molecules as you're reading this, and probably making some of them in your brain.  So, all we have is a semi-tangible link between a few adjuvants and altering gene expression, but, that does nothing about chromosomal abnormalities which would require a disruption in cell cycle checkpoints that doesn't result in apoptosis or cell cycle senescence for them to develop after birth, BUT, even then, they'd be localized occurances of likely non-functioning neurons and would not be detectable in somatic cell chromosome screening used to identify chromosome abnormalities in autism.  So, again, not really possible.  Not to mention the "neural pruning" that occurs during child development that would likely result in these malfunctioning neurons being killed off anyway.
GENETICS CONCLUSION:  IMPOSSIBLE LINK

Next up.

While I don't consider this face to be
as fugly as many people seem to think,
I also don't consider this the face of
someone with more acting talent than
your average soup spoon.
Also note that this is the only picture
this time.  Because pictures of babies
born blind is not something you really
want to see if you don't have to see it.

Thiomersal.  A organo-mercury compound in some vaccines.  The idea goes that this can cause brain and developmental problems resulting in autism.  Now, let us look at the extremely obvious fact that mercury poisoning and autism are about as closely related as Kristen Stewart and good acting.
CONCLUSION: An idea trumpeted only by idiots, likely those who enjoy twilight and consider it an intellectual masterpiece.

The rest of the causes of autism aren't even vaguely related to vaccines, with causes ranging from autoimmunity with your own antibodies attacking your brain to infections during pregnancy.  None of which have any bearing on vaccines causing autism.  Although, if anything, infection during pregnancy is maybe one of the best reasons for everyone to be immunized to everything, because, well (and I don't recommend you click the link), this happens; that baby is fucking blind and disfigured because it's mother had an active rubella infection while pregnant.  Now, while the mother's antibodies don't necessarily protect the baby from the infection (for reasons more complex that I feel like taking about), protective antibodies to PREVENT the infection can stop this from happening, and HERD IMMUNITY from everyone being immunized can bring the probability of the mother or the child of contracting rubella down to damn near zero.

AND THAT'S WHAT MOST ANTI-VACCINE TYPES DON'T GET.

That herd immunity protects everyone, even those who don't have healthy immune systems--such as AIDS patients, those with chronic inflammation, cancer patients, the elderly, anyone who can't receive immunization for health or religious reasons, and anyone else with an autoimmune disorder.  And that this herd immunity, if consistent over decades, can eliminate these diseases from the general populace- just look at polio.  But stop getting vaccinated, and the disease will reoccur, vaccines only get rid of one part of what's needed for a disease to be epidemic or endemic (disease reservoir, route of transmission, ability to adhere to host, and susceptible host).  Vaccines don't eliminate the disease reservoir or the ability to transmit the disease, they just let our body kick the shit out of the disease the first day of the first time we encounter the disease- we're not giving the disease two weeks to paralyze us, or blind us, kill us, or sterilize us while our immune systems catch up.

So, the next time someone tries to tell you how evil vaccines are, or why your shouldn't get vaccinated, you punch them in the teeth, cause a scene, and make sure everyone knows that person is in favor of dead babies.